Dark Monday

I can hear the rumble of thunder outside. Goddess knows we need the rain. I have been watching the front yard burn slowly each day as the sun has beat down upon it in the 90 degree weather. It's unbearable.

what you say in your silence

Years ago I was working as a recipient rights adviser. One of the parts of my training was to watch a video about a guy who used to interrogate people for the Jewish Army. He said that one of the most powerful tools is to have someone write down what they did around the time you are questioning them about, and then listen and look for what they don't say. I'll never forget his example, regarding Magic Johnson and his contracting HIV, "Magic Johnson said he wasn't gay, he never said he wasn't bisexual." I have always remembered that and try to use it in my work and even personal life. Truly people will tell you everything in what they don't say. Personally, it took me years to stop saying too much. I have finally learned to be more quiet and listen.

Now here is another email from you, and you ask me how am I, what is going on in my life. About every 6 months or so you do this to me. Each time I spill my heart and guts to you, because you have had that hold on me for years now. Then I ask you about your life, because I genuinely want to know and also because I think I know the answer. But you never respond to my question. There is either only silence or you ask something more about my life. You don't say what is happening with you, who you are with, if you are married with children, or alone. What is the purpose of your emails and texts? Are you checking to see if I'm waiting for you? Well I'm not, and I didn't. Does that bother you? Probably not. I think you wonder what would have happened if we had tried. But you had your chance. You told me you felt the same as I did for you, but that was a lie, you never said you loved me.

I won't answer your emails or texts anymore.

dreary

life is hard work
the sky stays gray
and it's
dreary

you don't realize until he's gone how much you rely on him. he is your best friend, close enough to be a brother, and just like your own brother, he makes you laugh and feel better even when you don't want to. then when he leaves, as he has every right to move on, you swallow your missing him and pretend you're okay.

months later, you finally have your breakdown 'cuz you can't hold it in any more. so go ahead and feel sorry for yourself for today. things will continue to change.

talk about being surprised!

although really, when you think about it, I shouldn't be. I was hoping against hope that our new governor would be okay. I was hoping because he is from Ann Arbor that maybe, just maybe, he'd be different than the other white elitist republicans. However, based on his current appointments of the people chosen to head the Department of Human Services, I see I am very wrong about him.

Maura Corrigan. Talk about a homophobe! She sent an order in 2002 to Washtenaw County to stop them from allowing 2 parent adoptions. SHE ordered them to stop. She belongs to the Federalist Society. Check them out: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/federalist-society

Also appointed: Brian Rooney. Member of the Thomas Moore Law Center. http://www.thomasmore.org/default-sb_thomasmore.html?959127088 - enough said about him.

I am SO worried that these right-wingers will stop allowing us to have gay and lesbian foster parents. One of the best dad's I've worked with has said "I hope they don't turn us into Florida, where you can't even be a foster parent if you're gay or lesbian."

So I say to Rick Snyder: please stop telling people you are from Ann Arbor, it gives people the impression that you care, that you are open-minded, and that you are full of compassion and love for your fellow man. And since you're apparently just another rich, white, elitist..... you make the rest of us here in Ann Arbor who work hard to have that open, compassionate image look bad.

In 4 days he has blown my confidence in this department to smithereens. I can only hope it will be a short 4 years.

bathroom advice

so, here you are, in the middle of the night in your bathroom. you wake up because you have to pee. or you have just come home from being away for some time, at least 2 hours and you need to use the bathroom. my thoughts are this:

1. do NOT look behind the bathroom curtain while on the toilet. because IF there is a monster in there, you are soooo screwed. you are on the toilet with your pants down. who wants to be found dead on the toilet with your pants down????

2. do NOT look behind the bathroom curtain AFTER you are done and BEFORE you pull up your pants. again..... pants down and dead.

3. you could check behind the curtain PRIOR to using the bathroom. we all know the danger in this is that you may pee or *ahem* doo doo in your pants.

4. the best and most logical choice is to check behind the curtain AFTER you have completed your business and AFTER you have pulled up your pants. you may want to consider opening the bathroom door for a quick escape if necessary.

winter

it's a tough time of year. the days are shorter. there's all this pressure to "buy buy buy". *sigh* I don't like it. how did we get roped into this mass materialism. sure, we need clothes, shoes, tires for our car. but do we NEED gameboys? do we NEED the x-box? do we NEED showtime and a dvr? you may think you do.... the videos to keep your kids occupied and happy. the dvr to waste your time at night instead of reading a real book, not one on kindle- jebus, who the hell thought that one up?- just let me have a book I can hold onto. one with a cover, pages, and a bookmark to keep the place I stop at when my eyes are burning and I'm too tired to read anymore. Oh, don't get me too wrong....I have a laptop, I'm typing on it right now. I have a cell phone, a nice stereo. but I can't help thinking about the commercial I saw last year for some electronic day-book, it said at the end, "You didn't know you needed it til now." because it didn't exist til then!

I think we should minimize. It would take all this pressure off of us. It would probably help us all feel a little better about our economic situation. So people, if you're getting a gift from me this year, don't be surprised if it isn't store-bought. It's my own little way of rebelling.... besides, I'm just as broke as everyone else!!! Happy Holidays.