bathroom advice

so, here you are, in the middle of the night in your bathroom. you wake up because you have to pee. or you have just come home from being away for some time, at least 2 hours and you need to use the bathroom. my thoughts are this:

1. do NOT look behind the bathroom curtain while on the toilet. because IF there is a monster in there, you are soooo screwed. you are on the toilet with your pants down. who wants to be found dead on the toilet with your pants down????

2. do NOT look behind the bathroom curtain AFTER you are done and BEFORE you pull up your pants. again..... pants down and dead.

3. you could check behind the curtain PRIOR to using the bathroom. we all know the danger in this is that you may pee or *ahem* doo doo in your pants.

4. the best and most logical choice is to check behind the curtain AFTER you have completed your business and AFTER you have pulled up your pants. you may want to consider opening the bathroom door for a quick escape if necessary.