bathroom advice

so, here you are, in the middle of the night in your bathroom. you wake up because you have to pee. or you have just come home from being away for some time, at least 2 hours and you need to use the bathroom. my thoughts are this:

1. do NOT look behind the bathroom curtain while on the toilet. because IF there is a monster in there, you are soooo screwed. you are on the toilet with your pants down. who wants to be found dead on the toilet with your pants down????

2. do NOT look behind the bathroom curtain AFTER you are done and BEFORE you pull up your pants. again..... pants down and dead.

3. you could check behind the curtain PRIOR to using the bathroom. we all know the danger in this is that you may pee or *ahem* doo doo in your pants.

4. the best and most logical choice is to check behind the curtain AFTER you have completed your business and AFTER you have pulled up your pants. you may want to consider opening the bathroom door for a quick escape if necessary.

winter

it's a tough time of year. the days are shorter. there's all this pressure to "buy buy buy". *sigh* I don't like it. how did we get roped into this mass materialism. sure, we need clothes, shoes, tires for our car. but do we NEED gameboys? do we NEED the x-box? do we NEED showtime and a dvr? you may think you do.... the videos to keep your kids occupied and happy. the dvr to waste your time at night instead of reading a real book, not one on kindle- jebus, who the hell thought that one up?- just let me have a book I can hold onto. one with a cover, pages, and a bookmark to keep the place I stop at when my eyes are burning and I'm too tired to read anymore. Oh, don't get me too wrong....I have a laptop, I'm typing on it right now. I have a cell phone, a nice stereo. but I can't help thinking about the commercial I saw last year for some electronic day-book, it said at the end, "You didn't know you needed it til now." because it didn't exist til then!

I think we should minimize. It would take all this pressure off of us. It would probably help us all feel a little better about our economic situation. So people, if you're getting a gift from me this year, don't be surprised if it isn't store-bought. It's my own little way of rebelling.... besides, I'm just as broke as everyone else!!! Happy Holidays.